When I discovered Rapid Eye Technology in 1995, I was delighted to see the Skills for Life Principles included in the training and process of Rapid Eye. The Skills for Life include:<\/p>\n
These skills can help us on a daily basis (with practice) to maintain the transformative changes we make during the Rapid Eye Process. I use and teach these Skills for Life, and I have a special history with each one of them. Using Choice and Accountability is a foundation to living a positive life and I have especially worked with this idea for many years.<\/p>\n
The principle of Choice and Accountability is a key part of beginning to live life with awareness and increased power. If you find, as I did, that you feel you have no choice about what happens to you, here is a simple technique I learned from John Enright, a great psychologist and teacher. His ideas fit perfectly into the Skills for Life model.<\/p>\n
In Seattle in the 1970’s I had the chance to study under John and take his seminar called ARC (Awareness, Responsibility and Communication). One of the things he taught me was the life-changing idea of taking responsibility for my experiences, and the beauty of being able to say no.<\/p>\n
I was a person, at that time, who had trouble saying no to the people in my life (my mother, sisters, brothers and at work). I would say yes to a request when I didn’t really want to do something or I didn’t have time to do whatever I was being asked. Then I’d look for a way to get out of my commitment by not showing up, forgetting about it, or fabricating reasons or excuses why I couldn’t keep my word. Or I would do what I committed to do feeling angry or resentful. This was not a pretty pattern.<\/p>\n
So my daily discipline became to absolutely keep my word. This is a simple, but not easy, two step process.<\/p>\n
First, I had to begin to pay attention to my feelings when a request was made of me: did I have time to do it? Did I want to do it? And did I have negative feelings — guilt, fear, duty or whatever — about doing it?<\/p>\n
Second, if I said yes (for whatever reason) I made myself keep my word and do those things with AWARENESS of my feelings. My feelings were usually something like, “ugh, I said I would do this for (name anyone) and now I have to do it and I don’t like doing this. I WILL pay more attention next time so I don’t have to keep my word and do things I don’t want to do.”<\/p>\n
My commitment to keeping my word, and this awareness of my feelings created the space in me to begin to say no. Through this daily discipline I learned not to give my word unless I could keep it, to not make commitments lightly and to be more aware of my own needs. Eventually I gained the ability to say NO to the things I didn’t want in my life and the ability to say YES to all those wonderful experiences, people and things I really wanted.<\/p>\n
Today I live with the realization that I am responsible for my life and my choices. And I become more powerful and authentic when I work on keeping my word and not giving my word to do something I may not want to do or may not be able to fulfill. If I say yes and do it with AWARENESS, I have no resentment, hostility or procrastination, it is my choice and I am at peace with my choices.<\/p>\n
One last thought, John Enright brilliantly used the idea of victim, villain, hero in his ARC Seminars. He pointed out that many times we start out as a victim (not being able to say no) and when we begin practicing saying no, we become a villain (you never help me, you are selfish, you do only what you want to do). Then as we keep saying no to the things we don’t want, a very interesting thing happens, we become heroes. (Look at her, she can say no, she is in control of her life, I want to be just like her.)<\/p>\n
My suggestion is to try out this discipline and see what happens. And if you find you feel blocked or unable to work with the feelings that come up, give me a call and we can discuss the possibilities. 303 527 1996<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I discovered Rapid Eye Technology in 1995, I was delighted to see the Skills for Life Principles included in the training and process of Rapid Eye. The Skills for Life include: Thought Perception Choice and Accountability Cause and Effect Gratitude and Abundance Health and Healing Harmony and Rhythm These skills can help us on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[12,13,11],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":150,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions\/150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rapideye.sonderyn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}